


Testing the Waters

by Andithiel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Camping, Coming Untouched, Community: kinkfest, Confident James Sirius Potter, Family Dynamics, HP Kinkfest 2020, Happy Ending, In more ways than one, Light Angst, M/M, Not in water though despite the title, Outdoor Sex, Porn with Feelings, Power Bottom James Sirius Potter, Repressed Feelings, Rimming, Skinny Dipping, canoeing, thirsty teddy lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23092189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andithiel/pseuds/Andithiel
Summary: Things have been awkward since Teddy and James shared a drunken kiss that Teddy claims was a mistake. Now, Teddy has to endure a canoe trip with the entire Potter family, including a semi-naked James who is doing everything in his power to rile Teddy up
Relationships: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 38
Kudos: 379
Collections: HP Kinkfest 2020





	Testing the Waters

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt by [Elle Gray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LGray/pseuds/Elle%20Gray): Outdoors. When I saw the prompt this idea wouldn't leave me alone and I had to go through with it. I hope you like what I did with it (even if it's not as kinky as it is angsty and feelsy).
> 
> My eternal gratitude to my two amazing friends [Etalice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etalice/pseuds/Etalice) and [Scarshavestories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarshavestories/pseuds/Scarshavestories) for helping me whip this into shape when I decided to write this at the last minute. I love you both so much and I don't know what I would do without you.

“Daaaaaaddd! Are we nearly there yet?”

Albus’ voice rang out over the water, echoing what Teddy had been thinking for the last 40 minutes. His arms and back were sore and his skin was itching from all the sweat. Agreeing groans came from all the other boats around him. Of course, the only one who seemed to be enjoying himself was James, sitting in front of Teddy with his shirt off, the sun making the droplets of sweat on his back and water in his unruly hair shine like diamonds.

Being positioned behind a shirtless James for the fourth day in a row was nothing short of torture. Teddy didn’t know where to keep his gaze. He couldn’t very well let it rest on the strong back muscles working underneath James’ smooth, tanned, dusted with freckles skin, that was too distracting. It made him want to wrap an arm around James’ waist,pull him closer and feel that strength against his own body. Then he’d tried lowering his gaze, but that meant staring at James’ arse instead, his glorious, firm arse, rounded from many hours spent on the Quidditch pitch, the top of his crack just visible above the hem of his trunks. That gave Teddy images of himself dragging his hand along the curve of James’ spine, down to the delicious swell of his arse, of letting a finger slip in between his cheeks and dragging it along the crack, up and down, slowly, oh so slowly, while James melted underneath him.

Of course, both of these thoughts had only made him painfully hard, and he’d settled for trying to look at their environment, the calm water glistening around them, the little islands covered in tiny trees and bushes, the sun shining from a bright blue sky. But it was hard to focus on that when he constantly saw James out of the corner of his eye, heard his breathing and the occasional groan as James had to take an extra forceful strike with his paddle. It hadn’t been any better when he’d suggested they switch places; just hearing James behind him puffing and panting, feeling his gaze on his neck, and hoping he would bend forward and press his chest against his back, was enough to make Teddy shiver and lose concentration entirely. Somehow it felt better to sit behind James, to keep track of what he was doing.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t put a top on?” Teddy asked, forcefully pushing them forwards with his paddle.

James looked at him over his shoulder. “Which top do you want me to put where?” he said, making Teddy splutter and nervously look over at Harry and Ginny’s canoe. Luckily they didn’t seem to have heard James’ innuendo. “My sun protecting charms are very reliable, thanks,” James added with a sneer. “Or did you have another reason for that suggestion, besides worrying about my health?”

“Well I think some people in present company are finding your naked chest quite… distracting,” Teddy said, nodding discreetly in the direction of Lily and her friend Claire’s canoe. As James very non discreetly turned to look at them, Claire promptly doubled over in a fit of giggles, while Lily muttered “Merlin, _gross_!” James turned to Teddy again, this time with his whole torso and not just his head.

“Never took you for the jealous type, Teddy. Are you sure you’re not speaking for yourself?”

Teddy scoffed. “You wish,” he muttered and kept on paddling, trying to ignore the way James flinched and the hurt in his eyes as he turned away from Teddy again.

It had been a stupid idea to agree to come with the Potter family on this canoe trip to some tucked away, forgotten corner of Sweden - he’d realised that as soon as they had partnered up and he had ended up in the same canoe as James. He’d tried to wiggle his way out of it, but it had obviously been the only reasonable option: Harry with Ginny, Albus with Scorpius, Lily with Claire, and Teddy with James. He’d known that it would look suspicious if he tried to go with anyone else, partly because all the other pairs made so much sense, but mostly because everyone thought he and James got along _so well_ together. Teddy sighed. They had been getting along well. A little too well, apparently. At least before this trip. Now, everything James did seemed to be to rile Teddy up, in one way or another.

It was his own fault, really. He never should’ve gone as far as kissing James the other week. He’d known James fancied him, that he had done so for several years. But where James was reckless and impulsive and went with his gut, Teddy only saw obstacles preventing them from being together. Like their age difference. Like how Teddy didn’t want to risk anything with Harry, and he strongly suspected that shagging his oldest son wouldn’t be highly appreciated. Like the fear of what would become of him and what place he would have in the Potter family if he were to initiate something with James that didn’t end up working out. Better to never start anything than to start and risk losing the only family he’d ever known, apart from his grandmother, of course.

So when he and James had shared a drunken, fumbling kiss after a night out together, he’d stopped them right after that, telling James they shouldn’t do anything while inebriated. And the next day, he’d declared that he thought the entire thing was a mistake and that they were better off as friends. Brothers, even. He’d felt awful at the look on James’ face when he told him, but James wouldn’t be James if he didn’t take most things in his stride. Of course, he’d avoided Teddy like spattergroit, but Teddy thought that he’d give James some space for a while and then everything would go back to normal.

Except, he’d forgotten about this planned family holiday and how he’d agreed to go on it. It had been too late to back out once he realised the potential awkwardness.

But this was their last full day, their last night before they were to return the canoes and equipment and head home to Britain. Teddy just had to endure one more night sleeping in the same tent as James, and then things could go back to how they used to be.

“There it is!” Harry called, shaking Teddy out of his thoughts. “The last campsite!”

There was a collective whoop as everyone spotted where Harry was pointing, and they steered in that direction, finding new strength in the knowledge that they would soon be done with paddling for the day. They were all tired and sore after four days of canoeing, and as much as they had enjoyed the scenery and camping, they all longed to go home. Teddy more than the others, he thought as he watched a drop of sweat slowly trickle down James’ spine.

The canoes reached the sandbank with a low thud, and there was a general commotion as they all clambered out of them, lifting out their packing and dragging the canoes out of the water. Happy to have an excuse to avoid James for a while, Teddy followed Harry to look for a place to put up the two tents, while the others chatted happily and started preparing for dinner.

“Is something off, Teddy?” Harry said when they had found a suitable place and made sure there were no Muggles around before they started erecting the two tents. 

Teddy bristled. “Not, er… not that I can think of. Why?”

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek and looked at the canvas folding itself into shape and the pegs being driven into the ground by themselves, but Teddy had the distinct feeling that he wasn’t really seeing them. “I don’t know, you’ve seemed a bit tense during this trip,” he said finally, slowly. “Did you and James have some sort of, I don’t know, falling out?”

Teddy almost choked on his own saliva, but managed to clear his throat instead. He shouldn’t be surprised though, he knew Harry was more perceptive than most people believed him to be, and that he was fiercely protective of his family, especially his children. “We’ve been having a bit of… disagreement lately,” Teddy said eventually, “but nothing that can’t be worked out, I think. You know James, he hates being told he can’t do something, he needs time sulk it off.”

Harry looked at him thoughtfully and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when James came up to them, holding his paddle across his shoulders and alternating between moving it in front of himself and behind him. He still hadn’t put a top on, and the exposed muscles of his chest were flexing tantalisingly, his nipples moving up and down, and Teddy didn’t know where to look. 

“Dad, we should get dinner started if we want to avoid a war between Albus and Lily.” 

James nodded towards his siblings who were bickering about whose turn it was to get the supplies out of the canoes, while Claire was looking at them in shock, Scorpius was examining his nails in a bored sort of way, and Ginny threatened to use a _Silencio_ on both of them. Harry snorted and rolled his eyes fondly. “You’re right. I’ll start a fire and you can… stop this strange exercise or whatever it is you’re doing and get the food,” he said, giving James a look of utter bewilderment.

“It’s great for the movement in the shoulders! You should try it some time, Dad, with all the desk work you do.”

Harry harrumphed and poked James in the side. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me I’m old and boring. Go get the food.”

“Well if it helps, you’ve always been old and boring to me,” James said before sauntering off to their bags.

Teddy took the opportunity to slink away from them both. He didn’t much like that Harry was onto what was going on with him and James.

He was wandering aimlessly, enjoying the smell of the sun warm pine and listening to the soft breeze of the wind through the trees, and soon he found himself by the water. The sun was still high in the sky, making the waves glitter, almost blinding him. He found a little dent in a cliff just by the edge. The rock was warm from the sun. Teddy sat down, rolled up the legs of his trousers and dipped his feet in the soft coolness of the lake, turning his face up to the afternoon sun. Sitting like this, he could almost forget the turmoil, the confusion, the thoughts of James and the way his emotions were running in every direction at once.

He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there when Lily called for him to join them for supper. He heaved his sore body up, limping a bit as he went because one of his legs had fallen asleep. When he reached the campsite, there was the usual mayhem of five Potters and two guests trying to get food at the same time before finding the perfect spot to sit. James was in the middle of the group, gesturing wildly and laughing as he stole a bun from Albus’ plate. It had been a long time since Teddy had seen him this relaxed, and he realised he’d missed it terribly. But upon seeing Teddy, James’ face quickly turned into the stony mask of indifference that had been his default demeanor for the past week.

“Teddy!” Harry called happily. “We thought you might have abandoned us!”

“Yeah, maybe four days with the entire Potter family is too much for anyone,” Lily said with a giggle, casting a look over at Scorpius who looked like he might faint from exhaustion anytime soon.

Teddy just smiled at them and shrugged before he went to get some food for himself.

“Hey Harry, could you pass me the bread?” Teddy said after he had collected everything he wanted on his plate.

Harry shook himself, handing it to Teddy with an apologetic smile, then continued to look between James, who was throwing peanuts up in the air to catch in his mouth, and Claire, who was ogling James in what she probably thought was a subtle way. “James, I think you should put a shirt on,” Harry muttered, “at least for dinner.”

James stopped abruptly, a hurt expression flickering across his face momentarily, but when he noticed Claire, who hastily looked away, he rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. Wouldn’t want to corrupt the mind of the young,” he said and strolled off towards the tent. Teddy watched the muscles of his back twisting as he went, forcefully reining in a groan.

One more night, he thought. Just one more night.

Dinner was a success, everyone praised Harry for his cooking skills, and Teddy had to admit he had really outdone himself, serving them a delicious curry that tasted better than any restaurant, despite having been cooked over open fire. Harry blushed, looking so much like his younger self, and tried to brush it off by telling everyone that James had helped as well, and they should all be thanking him for all the delicious raita and bread which was what really made it all taste so good. 

Teddy could barely look at James anymore, because despite being fully dressed now, he had replaced his semi-nudity by eating very suggestively. Or at least Teddy had never seen him be so clumsy while eating, constantly spilling food which made him need to lick his plump lips and suck his fingers. Teddy glanced over at Claire, who was staring open mouthed at James, looking like she wanted to lick him. 

After washing up, they all sat strewn around the fire, talking and laughing. James was gesticulating with a bottle of beer as he spoke, and Claire looked at him admiringly, laughing at everything he said. Teddy couldn’t blame her, really, James was so magnetic. But he was annoyed that she was so open about it, that she wasn’t even trying to hide how into James she was. 

Eventually, the only ones remaining around the fire were James, Teddy, Lily and Claire. Harry and Ginny had announced that they were off to bed around midnight, looked around at them all and told them not to stay up too late, because they had a long day ahead of them. Then they’d left with their arms around each other’s waists. After that, Albus and Scorpius had excused themselves to the tent they shared with James and Teddy, with a pointed look which silently said they were to be left alone there for at least an hour.

“You know what we should do? We should go swimming!” Claire said suddenly, glancing over at James who was sitting on the ground and didn’t take any notice of her.

“It’ll take us forever to find our swimsuits in the dark without waking Mum and Dad,” Lily said, rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn. “Even if we summon them they’re bound to wake up when they come flying out of our backpacks.

“Let’s go skinny dipping then!” Claire said, biting her lip, still with her eyes trained on James. Lily made a choking sound and started coughing.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime, Lils?” James said, leaning back against the log he had previously been sitting on, but was now using as a back support. “It’s been dark for hours.”

Lily yawned again, widely now, and glared very unsubtly at Claire, who studiously ignored her, and instead kept gazing longingly at James, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. 

Teddy couldn’t blame her, he really was a sight to behold: his skin golden, illuminated by the flames, the light flickering and dancing over his body. He was looking thoughtfully into the fire, his eyes lit up by it, making them look almost amber, like a lion’s. Teddy shifted in his seat; he had the distinct feeling that something was about to happen. It was like the air was charged, thick with anticipation.

“Go to bed, girls,” James said, not unpleasantly, but with a finality to his words and a command in his voice that left no room for objection. It made the hair on Teddy’s back stand up. Something about James had changed.

Claire made a noise, as if she was about to protest, but Lily grabbed her by the wrist and unceremoniously dragged her towards the tents. “Come _on_ , stop embarrassing me!” Teddy heard Lily hiss as they ambled away.

This left Teddy and James by themselves. Teddy waited, afraid to move, afraid to even breathe, his gaze kept firmly on James, who continued staring into the flames, taking the occasional swig of beer from his bottle. Then suddenly, without warning, James got up, unfolding his body from the ground, and stretched as he came to stand in front of Teddy. 

“What are you doing?” Teddy said, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded.

“Thought I’d go for a swim,” James said. “It wasn’t a bad idea, I just don’t feel like being naked in front of underage witches.”

Teddy swallowed, his cock perking up a bit at hearing James use the word “naked”. “You’ve been drinking.”

James scoffed, sweeping a hand through his hair. “Stop being so dramatic, I’ve had _one_ beer. If you’re so worried, why don’t you join me?”

He looked silently at Teddy, as if they were engaging in a staring contest. There was a definite challenge in James’ gaze, in his whole posture. Then, he turned and walked away.

Teddy scrambled up from his seat and followed him. Of course, it was only so he could keep an eye on James, so that nothing would happen to him. He’d never forgive himself, and he knew Harry wouldn’t either, if James went and hurt himself, or, Teddy shuddered at the thought, if he drowned.

When Teddy reached the lake, James was already yanking his t-shirt off, discarding it as he went, and then pulling his trousers and pants off. He smirked at Teddy over his shoulder before wading out into the water. Teddy stood rooted to the spot, afraid to move, afraid to take his clothes off and show the reaction his body had at the sight of James’ gorgeously naked body, of his buttocks moving as he went. Eventually, when James was looking in another direction, he quickly stripped off his own clothes and went in himself, hoping that James wouldn’t turn around and see his burgeoning erection.

The water was soft against his skin, smooth and warmer than Teddy had anticipated, rippling invitingly as he waded in. It was like sinking into liquid silk. Teddy had never gone skinny dipping before, but he thought he might want to do it more in the future. Especially with this scenery. It had to be around 3 in the morning, but it was already starting to get lighter, the sky a beautiful rosy hue close to the horizon. Teddy closed his eyes, letting his head fall back as he relaxed his body, his hips floating upwards. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea, swimming with James in the middle of the night, completely naked.

“Need any help with that?” James said suddenly, closer than he thought he’d be, far too close for Teddy’s liking.

Teddy looked up and followed James’ gaze down to his crotch, where his cock was perking up, completely hard and visible through the clear water. Shit. He jerked and flailed from his outstretched position until his feet found the bottom of the lake. Once he was standing he looked at James again, who bit his lip. Teddy wanted to suck it into his mouth, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was doing what was right.

“I don’t think we should,” he said, moving a hand to press his cock down, even though it didn’t show anymore.

“Why not?” James said, his gaze unusually hard, unyielding. “It’s already weird between us, isn’t it? Why not go all the way, Teddy? Pretending that nothing happened would be easier if it was something spectacular, don’t you think?”

Teddy failed to see the logic in that, but it was difficult to keep his resolve with James standing this close to him. If Teddy took one more step, they would be flush against each other.

“Tell me you don’t want this,” James said, edging closer, his own erection nudging Teddy’s hip, his voice guttural. “Tell me you haven’t been fantasising about having me in every way possible.” 

Teddy sucked in a breath, focusing on standing completely still, as if James would give up if he did. 

“Tell me,” James said, puffs of hot air hitting Teddy’s ear. “Tell me, and I’ll stop.”

Teddy turned his head towards James’, a hair’s width between their mouths.

“I think I’ve made it obvious that I want you, Teddy.” James let his hand slide along Teddy’s torso, stopping to let it rest on his hip. “But only what you’re willing to give me. I’ll take this one time if that’s all you want. You don’t even have to kiss me, you can just fuck me and then we’ll never speak of this again.”

Teddy knew he should probably walk away, should end this strange game of chicken. But it was impossible to say no to those words with James so close to him, impossible not to close what little distance was left between them and bury his face in the crook of James’ neck, to inhale the musky smell of him. James made a sound far back in his throat and sucked Teddy’s earlobe into his mouth, nipping and licking and using his hand on Teddy’s hip to press himself closer, the entire length of his body coming into electric contact with Teddy’s.

He’d never known it could be like this with James. Sure, James was self assured and loud and boisterous, but Teddy was surprised at the demand in his words, in his actions. It made him far more turned on than he’d ever thought imaginable. 

James started tugging at him, backing them up towards the rocks lining the shore, and Teddy followed, unable to let go of the smoothness of James’ skin under his fingertips, of James’ throat underneath his lips.

James stopped when he reached the stones, and found the same smooth indent that Teddy had spent his afternoon in. James hoisted himself up to sit on it, the water splashing around him, running along his body in rivulets. His erection bobbed up when it broke the surface; the sight of it made Teddy’s mouth water, and he licked his lips. James cocked his head, looking at him as he shifted on the rock. He slid a hand into Teddy’s hair, grabbing it to tilt his head up.

“You want to taste it, don’t you?” he said, a faint sneer stretching his lips. “You want to swallow me down all the way, gagging on it, don’t you?”

Reluctantly, Teddy dragged his gaze from the work of art that was James’ cock to look him in the eyes. He could only nod silently, his eyes fixed on James as if hypnotised.

“You won’t be doing that tonight,” James said, tightening his grip on Teddy’s hair, making it sting. “You’re going to eat me out,” he said simply before letting go and sliding down on his back, his arse nudging Teddy on his cheek in the motion. All air left Teddy in a rush at the sight of James’ delicious arse on full display in front of him, and he made an embarrassing sound, like a whimper. James lifted his head to look at him between his raised knees, one eyebrow cocked. “Well, what are you waiting for? It’s all set.”

Teddy grabbed one arse cheek in each hand, spreading them and letting his thumbs slide along James’ perineum. James hissed and Teddy was delighted to see his puckered hole flexing in anticipation. He massaged for a bit, slowly, deliberately, until James made a noise of impatience.

“Are you taking a good look to commit it to memory?” he asked eventually when Teddy was still only letting the pads of his fingertips graze him.

Teddy chuckled, leaning in and licking a broad swipe along James’ crack, up to his hole and letting one thumb join his tongue, pressing it in a little bit. James moaned as he arched his back and hooked his arms around his knees.

“Better?” Teddy asked, but the only answer he got was a loud moan, because he dove in again, equally slow this time, letting the tip of his tongue rest for a bit against the furled skin of James’ arse.

Encouraged by James’ reaction, he kept alternating between slower strokes and short, jabbing flicks of his tongue. James moaned and writhed, grabbing Teddy’s hair to keep him in place, and Teddy’s cock twitched appreciatively when James pressed the soles of his feet against his shoulders, swearing loudly. Teddy chuckled, and traced his tongue upwards, along James’ perineum to his balls, but that was apparently too much because James yanked his hair forcefully, making Teddy hiss in pain.

“I told you, not tonight,” James said, and there was that command in his voice again. Teddy was so unused to it, but it made him turned on more than he could say.

“As you wish,” Teddy said, meaning for it to sound sarcastic, but annoyingly, it came out as if he really was an obedient servant.

He continued by grabbing James’ arse cheeks and spreading them, rubbing his thumbs against the rim, and then he pushed his tongue in as deep as he could.

“Oh FUCK!” James shouted, arching his back, and Teddy noted with satisfaction that his legs were trembling, that he was pressing his fist to his mouth to keep from calling out again. 

Teddy did it again, going further in this time, wiggling his tongue inside James, tasting him. He was sure he was going to lose his mind at the thought of being this intimate with James, that he was allowed to do this, and yet it felt so natural, he never wanted to stop.

“Fuck! FUCK! I’m going to —” James said, panting.

“Not yet,” Teddy said, reluctantly tearing himself away from James’ wonderful arse and squeezing the base of his cock, making James look up at him. “I’ve yet to fuck you.”

James lay propped up on his elbows, looking at him as if he was measuring him. Then he shrugged. “Fine. If you must,” he said casually. He got up with far more grace than Teddy could ever muster, looking like he couldn’t care less, but Teddy saw that the hand he used to rake through his hair was shaking. “We can’t do it here though, I hate fucking in water, and the rock is going to kill me.” 

He flung out a hand to help Teddy get up as well, although he was much less graceful: his body felt stiff after being in the water for so long, his neck bent in an awkward angle. But he forgot that when he came to stand so close to James, their bodies pressed together to fit on the tiny ledge. Teddy could see James’ rapid pulse on his neck and he wanted to kiss him so badly, wanted James’ lips against his, wanted the warmth of James’ mouth on him. But somehow it felt out of place, like he wasn’t allowed, like James wouldn’t approve of it.

“You’re getting pretty loud though, maybe we should cast some silencing charms?” Teddy heard himself say, and he wished he could hex his tongue off.

Once again, James appraised him silently. “I don’t think I’m nearly loud enough,” he said before turning and walking over to his pile of clothes, collecting his wand from it. With a defiant look on Teddy, he started casting the strongest privacy and silencing charms Teddy had ever witnessed, the air around them crackling in reaction. 

Teddy knew Harry was powerful, had seen him cast so many wandless spells over the years that it had become mundane. He had no idea that James’ magic was equally strong, and he certainly had no idea how arousing he would find it. 

James leaned against a birch tree behind him, looking at Teddy with dark, hooded eyes.

“Go on, Lupin. Try your best.” He raised one eyebrow, looking far more smug and confident than Teddy ever could in his position. “Make me scream.”

There was a moment where Teddy halted, a moment that seemed to stretch out for eternity, with James standing in front of him, naked and hard and willing, demanding. Wanting him. Craving him. Then finally, his brain kicked into gear and he rushed over to James in three quick strides, grabbing a fistful of hair to tilt his head so he could pull James’ earlobe into his mouth.

“I’ll make you scream so loud your spellwork won’t stand a chance.”

“Yeah? You wanna bet?” James said, but gasped as Teddy pressed him up against the trunk of the tree, sucking at a spot below his ear, their cocks sliding deliciously together.

James grabbed the tree with his hands over his head, his stomach flexing as he lifted both his legs to let them rest on Teddy’s shoulders, his gorgeous arse opening up to him. Teddy had never been more turned on in his entire life. Sure, he had spent the last few days admiring James’ body, the strength of his muscles and smoothness of his motions, like a wild animal hunting its prey. But seeing James really _use_ his body like this, the complete control he had of every movement, was almost too much to handle.

Teddy let his hands glide over James’ thighs, down to his arse, spreading his cheeks even further. It was even more beautiful like this, with Teddy’s cock just at the entrance, waiting to sink in. And yet, he hesitated. What if they couldn’t go back to how they were before? What if this ruined everything they had built between them?

James scoffed, and then Teddy felt his magic wash over them both, slicking them up.

“What the fuck are you waiting for? Just fuck me already!”

Teddy shook himself, goaded by James’ words, by his impatience. He realised that whether or not he backed out now, they had already crossed too many lines for them to ever be able go back to normal. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to.

“Thought you’d never ask,” he said, feeling like he needed to put on a confident façade in light of James’ cockiness. With one hand he guided his cock and pressed inside, unable to suppress a groan of pleasure as the tight ring of muscle gave way to let him in. “Fuck, James, you feel so good.” He watched as his cock slipped further in of its own accord and then stilled. He looked up at James who had his head thrown back, stared at his measured breathing, at his mouth going slack.

“Teddy,” James whispered, and it was the most wonderful sound Teddy had ever heard. He leaned closer, pressing deeper as he did so.

“Yeah?”

James locked eyes with him, his gaze hard as steel.

“You’d better fuck me properly if we’re only doing this the one time.”

And that’s when Teddy became aware that James didn’t expect there to be any more times. He really thought that Teddy only wanted him this one occasion, in a foreign country, on neutral ground, where they could pretend afterwards that it had never happened. If Teddy was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure himself what he wanted. He’d always brushed off James’ crush on him as just that, a crush. A crush that he would eventually get over once he got older, and Teddy had never taken it seriously, because if he did, and if he allowed himself to feel the same, what would be left for him when James finally woke up and moved on? The realisation hit him like an avalanche, and he suddenly felt like he had vertigo.

James must have felt him faltering but interpreted it as something else, because he made another impatient sound, flexing his stomach to angle his arse upwards.

“Is that the best you can do, Lupin?” he said, starting to undulating his hips. “Fuck me like you mean it!”

Teddy snapped out of his thoughts, bringing himself back to reality. He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on changing his body, on thickening his cock even more. He knew he’d succeeded when James gasped, and he smirked.

“Like that?”

James made a sound. “Better, I guess. But are you doing it properly if I can still talk coherently?”

Teddy growled and brought James’ legs from his shoulders, hooked his arms under James’ knees to keep him in place and spread his legs further apart, allowing himself to get closer, to thrust deeper. “Fuck James, you’re so fucking infuriating,” he groaned into the skin of his throat, “and so fucking delicious, and so fucking — so fucking amazing.”

James’ breath hitched, but he didn’t answer this time, his eyes closed in ecstasy as Teddy pounded into him as hard as he could.

“I’m going to make you scream so loudly, Jamie. The only name you’ll remember will be mine,” Teddy said, panting, grinding down while pistoning his hips, licking the side of James’ neck as he went. James’ head was tilted back against the black and white trunk, his bottom lip between his teeth, and he was so beautiful it stole Teddy’s breath away. Once again he was overcome with the desire to kiss James, to feel the warmth of his mouth against his, sharing the same air.

“Can I kiss you, Jamie?” he groaned, burying himself into the glorious wet heat that was the core of James. “I really— I really want to kiss you.”

James whimpered, squeezing his eyes further shut. “Only if you mean it,” he said, his voice breathy and broken. “Only if you want me.”

Teddy’s heart clenched. “I do. I do want you, Jamie. I want you always,” he said, realising that it was true, that the thing holding him back had been fear of losing James and the whole Potter family when James eventually understood that the two of them wouldn’t work out. Because James was fit, and funny, and charming, and a world famous Quidditch player, and what in the name of Merlin would he want Teddy for? Teddy was none of those things. He was a nerd, and he lacked all of James’ easy confidence. There was no chance in all the seven hells that James would keep up his interest once he got what he wanted, Teddy had seen him get bored with toys enough times during his childhood to know that. But he understood now, he knew that he would never be able to walk away from this, never be able to say no to James again. 

A dry sob slipped out of James, and he turned his head towards Teddy, his stubble grazing Teddy’s face as their cheeks slid against each other, and then James’ mouth was on his, open and inviting. It was messy, their teeth knocking together, James licking into Teddy’s mouth and Teddy willingly letting him in.

James let go of the tree trunk to put one hand on each side of Teddy’s face, keeping him in place while he kissed him deeply. His breath was hot in Teddy’s mouth, turning into soft moans.

“Tell me again,” James whispered against his lips. “Tell me you want me.”

All of the air rushed out of Teddy on hearing the desperation in James’ voice. “I want you, Jamie. I want you so much it terrifies me.”

James whimpered again, and then Teddy heard it: his name spilling from James’ lips over and over, a soft chanting each time Teddy pushed into him. Then, James gasped, his entire body shuddering, and Teddy felt him come, his cock pulsing between them, completely untouched. Teddy let out a choked sound at the sight of him, at the feeling of James clenching around his cock. His arms were sore from holding James for so long, but he gathered his last strength to hoist him up a bit, pressing in as deep as he could, his thrusts going erratic as he felt his orgasm building at the base of his spine.

“Oh fuck Jamie, fuck you feel so good,” he panted against his neck. “I’m going to— I’m—”

“Do it, Teddy. I want to feel you,” James whispered, and with a broken cry, his vision turning blurry, Teddy pushed as deep as he could and then he too came, jerking in tiny thrusts through his orgasm. James groaned again, and Teddy could feel his cock give a tiny twitch between them.

It took him a moment to return to reality, for the world to unravel before him again and not just consist of James’ skin and his heaving chest and his body pressed tightly against Teddy’s. But eventually he had to let go of James’ legs, slip out of him and help him to stand on the ground again. His arms were cramping after having held on to James so tightly, and he extended them with a suppressed groan. James gave him a cheeky grin at the sight of his discomfort, but then his eyes became guarded, and Teddy was overwhelmingly ashamed for being the reason that James was feeling insecure. He knew he had to be the one doing the work now. Bringing a hand up to sweep through James’ hair, he leaned in and tentatively brushed his lips against James’, his heart leaping in his chest when James’ kissed him back.

“I’m sorry I’ve been an idiot James,” he murmured, feeling like “being an idiot” didn’t even come close to how he had treated James.

“Well, I’m used to it by now,” James said, clearly attempting to joke, but there was a quiver to his voice.

Teddy knew James enough to take the bait, so he chuckled. He knew they had some serious discussions ahead of them, but for now, this felt like enough, and he could try to show instead of tell James how he felt.

He stretched to try and hide his awkwardness. “We should probably head back to camp.”

James nodded. “I guess, but… I don’t want this to be over yet.”

Teddy thought he knew what James was feeling, because he himself was afraid of breaking whatever spell had made them finally do this.

“This is not the end, Jamie, it’s only the beginning. I mean… if you want it to be.”

James shook his head, biting back a smile. “I see you’re still being an idiot.”

Teddy laughed and shoved him playfully with his shoulder.

They gathered their clothes, slipping them on in silence. Teddy had a hard time keeping his balance while putting on his trousers, because he couldn’t stop staring at James. As much as he loved seeing him take his clothes off and seeing him naked, witnessing him put his clothes on were just as arousing. But when James turned away from him, Teddy noticed the skin on his back was an angry red, with shallow cuts running all over it.

“Jamie…” he said, reaching out a hand to feel them.

“Pretty impressive, don’t you think?” James said, his usual bravado returning more and more.

“Here, let me,” Teddy said, picking up his wand from the ground. “ _Episkey_ ,” he muttered, watching as the skin turned smooth again.

James shivered. “I’ve always loved the feeling of your magic around me.” 

The words were low, barely discernible, and Teddy wasn’t sure he was meant to hear them, but they made him feel some sort of inexplicable pride. Smiling, he reached out his hand to James, who took it, the corners of his mouth ticking up.

They walked back in silence and snuck into their tent. Albus and Scorpius were lying in a tangled sleeping mess in the middle, like they had been for the duration of the trip, so that Teddy and James could lie on either side of them. Teddy looked at them, then at James, afraid to assume that he wanted to change their agreement. James was also observing them, chewing his bottom lip nervously. Then he looked up at Teddy, and his eyes were so open, his defences completely down. Teddy kissed him, slowly, softly, trying to pour every confusing feeling he had into it.

“Let’s go to sleep, yeah?” he whispered, and James nodded.

Lying entwined with James, even on the hard ground, was even better than fucking him, Teddy decided as he drifted off to sleep with the scent of James filling his nostrils.

* * *

A few hours later, Teddy heard whispered voices, dragging him up of his sleep. James was lying half on top of him, his leg slung over Teddy’s hips and his hand tangled in Teddy’s hair, their noses pressed together. 

“I told you, Scorp! You owe me ten Galleons.”

Teddy kept his eyes shut to feign sleep, but he could hear Scorpius grumbling about the unfairness of Albus having the upper hand with his family connection, and then there was the unmistakable jingle of coins.

“There,” Scorpius said. “Do we wake them now so we can start packing up?”

There was a moment’s silence, and then Albus said “Let them sleep. I think they returned only a few hours ago. They’re probably exhausted with the things they’ve been doing tonight.”

“You’re a real saint, Albus,” Scorpius said, his voice growing fainter as he and Albus started crawling out of the tent. “Why do I get the feeling you have an ulterior motive for this kindness?”

Albus chuckled darkly. “Because I want to see the other’s faces when they discover them.”

Teddy felt a tiny kernel of panic threatening to grow at the thought of the entire Potter family seeing them like this - it was so obvious what they had been up to that night. But those thoughts came to a grinding halt when James sighed in his sleep and snuggled in closer, puffs of warm air hitting the side of Teddy’s neck. Teddy relaxed and settled against James again, feeling his heartbeat underneath his palm, slow and reassuring, making him realise he just had to learn to live in the moment and not let his fears ruin anything with James. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are lovely ❤️
> 
> I'm also [on tumblr](https://andithiel.tumblr.com//)! Come say hi!


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